The Truth About Ex-Gay “Therapy” Exposed, Again.
Patrick McAlvey is one of the many young people victimized by the “ex-gay” industry. The APA and countless other professional organizations denounce so-called “reparative therapy” as a harmful, ineffective sham. However religious groups continue to push it to intolerant parents and desperate gay individuals who’ve been fed the constant refrain, “you’re not acceptable the way you are” combined with strong pressure to “change” in order to please others.
Many people assume “ex-gay” therapy consists of praying and talking with a therapist to understand and undo all of the horrible things that “made” a person gay. That’s simply not the case. Certainly prayer is involved, but there’s no actual therapy, at least nothing that would be recognized as such by any reputable psychologist or psychiatrist. Instead program participants are subjected to humiliating, bizarre and potentially harmful practices that can leave permanent scars on them. Sadly Patrick McAlvey’s personal experiences in an “ex-gay” program are not uncommon.
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The 24-year-old McAlvey’s video was released last month just as the American Psychological Association announced that “mental health professionals should avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments.”
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“When I was 19, I was kicked out of a missionary training school and was forced to move back home with my family,” McAlvey recalled. “I was kicked out because of my attraction to men, so in that time I was sort of in a crisis mode and was very low, very depressed and just trying to make sense of my life and my attraction.”He contacted Jones, whom he had spoken with before about his “problem,” and began several months of therapy with Jones that supposedly would cure him and make him straight.
Therapy consisted of embarrassing questions and uncomfortable situations. Jones would instruct McAlvey to lie in his arms for an hour at a time - known in the ex-gay circuit as holding therapy. He forced McAlvey to learn about tools and home repair, and to watch the play “Equus” with him, which features full male nudity. He would ask him to rate his attractiveness on a scale of one to 10.
Then there were the questions. “He asked how large my penis was. He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore,” McAlvey explained. “On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.
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But despite all his efforts, McAlvey never stopped being attracted to men. “I never felt like I was changing,” he said of the therapy.
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“I just really came to hate myself; to loathe myself,” McAlvey said. “I didn’t trust anyone and I didn’t allow anyone to get close to me because I was terrified that they might find out my secret and that they would think less of me. I spent many years locked up in my room, crying by myself for no good reason.”
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The decision to take his story public took time, and a lot of personal healing for McAlvey. When he stopped seeing Jones, he was still grappling with his sexuality and acceptance of himself. Eventually, he was able to see that it’s OK to be gay. “I realized that I don’t think change is going to happen and I don’t think it needs to happen,” he said. “It was getting to the point where I really was comfortable with who I am, and that takes time, a lot of processing and figuring out how to undo some of the internalized homophobia that was the result of this therapy.”
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The status of Bryce Faulkner is still unknown at this point. Will he exit his program as broken as Patrick McAlvey did, having been taught to loathe himself for who he is? As you read this there are thousands of other Bryces and Patricks (and Lisas and Marys) across the nation being abused by the “ex-gay” industry. It’s allowed to go on in the name of “religious freedom” but there is no freedom for the victims. How many people will be damaged, perhaps permanently, by this hateful sham before we put a stop to the abuse?
