The Gaytheist Agenda

Most people assume atheists don’t go to church, and for the most part they are correct. Some atheists who have not yet “come out” as atheists still go to a traditional church out of habit or to keep their status as an atheist hidden. However the average openly atheist person has little or no interest in church. That’s not the case with some atheists, however–though these aren’t your standard churches either. First and foremost, there are no gods in these churches.

The Society for Ethical Culture was formed in 1877, eighteen years after Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species and made the religious universe wobble on its axis. But godlessness can be a little scary, even for an atheist. Ethical Culture’s imposing 1910 edifice on Central Park speaks to its patrons’ wealth, as well as their concern that society might fall apart if it didn’t have a church. But for all the grandeur of its secular cathedral, Ethical Culture peaked at maybe 6,000 members, with only about 3,000 today.

Now, once again, nonbelievers have a fresh sense of mission. The fastest-growing faith in the country is no faith at all. The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life released the results of its “Religious Landscape” survey in February and found that 16 percent of Americans have no religious affiliation. The number is even greater among young people: 25 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds now identify with no religion, up from 11 percent in a similar survey in 1986. For most of its modern history, atheism has existed as a kind of civil-rights movement. Groups like American Atheists have functioned primarily as litigants in the fight for church-state separation, not as atheist social clubs. “Atheists are self-reliant, self-sufficient, independent people who don’t feel like they need an organization,” says Ellen Johnson, president of American Atheists for the past thirteen years. “They’re so independent that if they want to get involved, they usually don’t join an organization—they start their own.”
…..
So some atheists are taking seriously the idea that atheism needs to stand for things, like evolution and ethics, not just against things, like God. The most successful movements in history, after all—Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, etc.—all have creeds, cathedrals, schools, hierarchies, rituals, money, clerics, and some version of a heavenly afterlife. Churches fill needs, goes the argument—they inculcate ethics, give meaning, build communities. “Science and reason are important,” says Greg Epstein, the humanist chaplain of Harvard University. “But science and reason won’t visit you in the hospital.”

I don’t know whether McManus himself, people who know nothing of atheists, or atheists who have swallowed the banalities about themselves who resulted in the first sentence of that last paragraph. It’s simply untrue that atheists “just stand against” things, and gods in particular. Atheists don’t believe in gods, and therefore can’t stand against them. Furthermore the notion that because atheists don’t typically have churches or go to them that they don’t build communities, inculcate ethics, visit people in the hospital, etc. is not only incorrect but bigoted. Just because our efforts aren’t always as organized, recorded and done with fanfare doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

On a recent chilly Friday night, a few dozen members of the City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism were gathered downstairs at the Village Community School on West 10th Street for Shabbat. For them, this is a monthly ritual that includes lighting candles and singing Jewish songs that have been carefully excised of a deity. “Where is my light?” asks the song “Ayfo Oree.” “My light is in me.” According to the congregation’s leader, the humanist rabbi Peter Schweitzer, who wrote much of the secular Shabbat service, as well as the lyrics and verse for the congregation’s life-cycle events like weddings, funerals, and bar and bat mitzvahs, Judaism is mostly a culture—religion is just one component. So he simply takes a red pen to the God parts. “We offer a different door in,” says Schweitzer. “One that doesn’t ask you to compromise your lack of beliefs.”
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Gorski believes that a church is not necessarily God’s house. It belongs, first, to the people. Many atheists, he says, misunderstand why people go to church in the first place. “It isn’t the specific doctrines,” he says. “[Church] binds people together and relates them to one another and gives them each a personal, private, and, of course, quite subjective understanding of themselves and their world.”
…..
Atheism’s bitterest schisms, no surprise, were often formed in church. Gorski says he grew up, uneventfully, as a Catholic. “I’ve got no ax to grind,” he says. But at a meeting of the New York City Atheists in January, two former Jehovah’s Witnesses recounted a childhood rooted in lies and indoctrination. The young woman, who used a pseudonym for fear of never being able to speak to her parents again, told the audience that her father would hide her National Geographic. Ellen Johnson explains it this way: “Our members have left religion and don’t want any part of that.”

Additionally, many atheists see the challenge of tearing down the pillars of organized religion as far from over—just check the numbers of Americans who don’t believe in evolution, they say. And that work—of arguing, of reeducation, of fighting discrimination against nonbelievers—should take precedence over any kind of organization-building.

As a political strategy, however, that may be shortsighted. Greg Epstein, who like Schweitzer is a student of Humanistic Judaism, is perhaps the most outspoken voice for humanism in the United States and has made waves among atheists by arguing that the militancy of the Four Horsemen could derail an otherwise powerful movement. When I met the 31-year-old Epstein for breakfast in a Soho restaurant last month, he told me he’s writing a book called Good Without God, due out next year. “Most nonreligious people are not anti-religious,” he says, and he’s got the numbers to prove it. …There’s a difference between building a community and building an atheist regime.”

That’s typical. Atheists not only divided on whether or not to organize but on how to organize–if they are to organize. Some things are not likely to change, and I think that’s a good thing.

Ken Novak, a marketing analyst from Evanston, Ill., is an atheist. But that doesn’t stop him from going to services on Sundays. While there, he leads a discussion group and a book club, listens to the Sunday school children sing and finds fellowship with others.

Novak, 54, is a member of the Ethical Humanist Society of Chicago, a religious group that focuses on respecting others and does not worship a deity. He found it 16 years ago when looking for a nontheistic moral education for his children, and knew right away that he wanted to get involved.

“It’s a place where atheists and agnostics can get what a lot of people get out of church and temple,” Novak said of the Society.
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For many people, being an atheist is sometimes an alienating and lonely experience. Although a sizeable chunk of the population eschews belief in a god, a 2006 survey found that atheists are America’s most mistrusted minority group. “To be outright and openly atheist is to run the risk of social rejection,” said Tim Gorski of Dallas.

That’s one reason Gorski, an obstetrician and gynecologist, opened The North Texas Church of Freethought in 1994. Today, about 80 to 100 people meet on the first Sunday morning of each month for services. The church is in the Freethought tradition, which favors science and reason over the supernatural. It’s like most other churches, said executive director Zachary Moore. “What we are is a church with the superstition removed. We do charitable work, blood drives, Sunday school, take care of each other’s kids,” he said. “You go to any church in the country, you’re going to find people doing the same things.”
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“The idea of tolerance for another’s belief system, in many ways, only runs in one direction in this area of the country,” said Georgene Harkness, 58, who is active in the Church of Freethought and serves as its treasurer. “I have found a community of people who I like and who I know I can trust to ‘allow’ me my own thoughts on life’s important topics.”

Aye, there’s the rub. Tolerance for another’s belief system (or in this case, lack of belief) only runs in one direction in many places. The nation’s dominant belief system is the only acceptable one, period. This is probably the best argument for organization on the part of atheists. The more organized we are, the better able we are to fight intolerance.

Whether I’d be inclined to join an “atheist church” I’m not entirely sure. Meeting routinely with like-minded individuals to discuss ideas, socialize and work to benefit the community has its appeals. The singing and “moment of silence”, the latter of which leans a bit too close to worship, aren’t up my alley however. I think for the time being I’ll just remain among the un-churched while I contemplate the possibilities.

 

 
Addendum. Some comments have arrived. The first is from Greg, who says:

 

I know a lot of atheists that go to church regularly. The Unitarian-Universalist church is really a lot of fun to attend. People discuss philosophy with other atheists, “strong” agnostics, and liberal Christians. One of the UU churches I went to had a liberal Christian as a pastor that used to get heavily criticized for being too deist.

So if you find yourself ever wanting the social outlet, you might try that.

 
Until I read about the churches mentioned in the article I’d thought that if I were to ever again go to a church it would be a UU church. I’ve heard they’re pretty interesting and open places. So unless something atheist-specific comes up in the meantime, I’ll likely be heading to a UU congregation should I decide to start attending services any time in the future. Thank you for the suggestion!

 
Ebon said:

 

Fascinating idea. Of course, a church is not just a means to worship (or not, apparently) but also a community and a support mechanism.

 
Indeed. And of course we can use the services as a means to further plot the atheist takeover of America. (You know that’s what they think we’re doing.)

 

 

 

 

Though they really aren’t so small in reality. I’m talking about new books. I just received two from Amazon.com Now I have new stuff to read (not that I didn’t already have a huge pile of books lying around as it was, but humor me here).

 

By Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out.

 

By Herman Mehta, of The Friendly Atheist

 
Now to brew nice cup of tea (White Peony, perhaps) and curl up for some great reading. I’ll be back to exposing the RRRW Agenda later.

 

Let this story put that misconception to rest. Be aware it is but one of many. From The Atheist Blogger:

 

For those who aren’t already aware, I’m a first year Computer Science student at Royal Holloway, University of London. I live in halls, in a flat with 7 other people. Most, if not all of them are from a Christian background and would call themselves Christians, however the fact that I am openly atheist has never discouraged them in any way. Of course the same could not be said for other inhabitants of the halls, as I would find out within the first few weeks of term.

I’d met a fellow atheist in the neighbouring flat, and we had both decided that the university needed an “Atheist Union” of sorts to oppose the active Christian Union. We drafted up some posters explaining our cause and purpose, and began sticking them up around campus, mainly in the vicinity of our halls. After a few days, 3 of them had been torn off the wall and ripped into pieces. Evidently, I thought, there were some people who really didn’t like atheists. So I reprinted them with a message that tried to get through to their sense of reason. I wasn’t imposing on their beliefs, so why should they impose on mine?

The posters stayed up a few more days…before being ripped down again. I gathered up the pieces, stuck them back together, and decided to display them on my door, as a kind of “shrine” dedicated to my futile efforts to reason with these people. One of the posters I found still intact, but with the words “Pricks” and “Nobs” (British slang for the word “penis”) written across it.

Nevertheless, I managed to build up a small gathering of atheist and agnostic students after we changed our name from “Atheist Union” to “Atheist & Agnostic Alliance” (for an awesome alliteration). Things were going well, until a few weeks ago, when the vandals struck again…only this time they attacked my door.
…..

 
Read the rest of the story here.

 

All contributions to the mailbag are
pre-screened by Seitan the Cat.

It’s time for another edition of the Gaytheist Agenda Mailbag. My first submission comes from stebbytubbysenior who wrote regarding my good friend Sally Kern

this particular woman is a wart on the anus of the satan she so fervently believes in and that we atheists actually don’t….. mock her, fire her, shame her. Maybe then she’ll have the time to get to read and understand the constitution…..

I wouldn’t describe her as colorfully as you have, but Sally Kern is indeed a nasty character. She believes that certain people and beliefs are superior to others, and of course she and her beliefs belong in that superior category. Then she thinks it’s fine to relegate people she deems inferior to second (or lower) class status and provide them fewer rights and privileges based on her arbitrary notions of what is right and wrong. She claims it’s God’s Word, but like most of her ilk she’s not applying the Bible equally but rather cherry-picking. I wonder how many shellfish and pork dinners she’s eaten lately, how many blended fabrics and how much gold/pearl jewelry she wears, and why she thinks she has the right to teach males. (And that’s only the beginning, mind you.) Indeed, she thinks the Constitution only applies to people she deigns to allow it to apply to. I seem to recall it saying We the people, not We the fundamentalist Christians.

 
The next entry comes from Ebon regarding Rights Groups Ask that Teen Be Tried in Juvenile Court.

I could go either way on this. On the one hand, I’m ethically opposed to the whole concept of seeking “trial as an adult”. It seems to be something used not according to the individual maturity of the offender in question but as a symbol of especially emphatic disapproval which eliminates the whole point. If we’re going to say that people committing X crime should be judged in the same way regardless of age, then let’s just say that, not go through this charade of seeking special permission.

On the other hand, would McInerney be being tried as an adult if he had shot a straight kid?

I’m still conflicted on the matter myself. Part of me still wants to have him tried as a juvenile because he’s 14, and because he’ll have a greater chance to have rehabilitation rather than mere warehousing and punishment. The other part of me feels that despite him only being 14 he took a gun to school, with premeditation, and shot a boy in the head twice–in front of the whole class–because the boy was gay, so he should take his chances being tried as an adult.

Would McInerney be tried as an adult if he’d shot a straight kid? I really think he would considering he used a firearm ( in a classroom full of students no less). That’s a very serious offense which, if he’s actually tried as an adult, can add up to 25 years to his sentence. The hate-crime penalty only adds 1-3 years by contrast.

 
Entry #3 comes from yousuck at your.a.jew@***.com. I have no idea what s/he was commenting on but here’s what my new best friend had to say:

****ing christian

No, I am not a Christian (nor am I Jewish as your probably phony e-mail address seems to suggest). Though I was Christian for about 20 years I reverted back to my former state of atheism in my late 20s when I lost my faith. Of course I should think that would be obvious given that the name of this blog is The Gaytheist Agenda, and many of the posts focus on atheism. By the way, I sense a great deal of hostility in you. Have you ever considered volunteer work or meditation? They can work wonders.

That wraps up this edition of the Mailbag. Stay tuned until next time.

 

About a week ago I posted Ask the Gaytheist. My first question comes from thewalrus whose e-mail address is, it seems, fyou@******. Alrighty then, let’s get to the question:

how does an atheist have the odds stacked against him? All the hipster protesters are atheists and everyone hears them practicing their right to free speech. Here is the shocking part though… nobody cares

I’m going to break that down into three separate parts to make things easier. First; how does an atheist have the odds stacked against him?

As you are likely aware, the majority of people in the United States profess belief in God and adherence to a religion. According to a 2001 study 76.5% of adults over age 18 report being members of a Christian faith and 3.7% report being Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist. 13.2% claim “no religion”, 0.5% agnostic and only 0.4% reported being atheist. It’s possible, even probable, that some in the “no religion” category (or even one of the other groups) are atheists who were unwilling to say as much due to societal prejudices. Nonetheless the fact is we are greatly outnumbered by theists and followers of religion.

A 2006 study by the University of Minnesota found that atheists were the most despised group in America. The results from two of the most important questions were:

This group does not at all agree with my vision of American society…

Atheist: 39.6%
Muslims: 26.3%
Homosexuals: 22.6%
Hispanics: 20%
Conservative Christians: 13.5%
Recent Immigrants: 12.5%
Jews: 7.6%

I would disapprove if my child wanted to marry a member of this group….

Atheist: 47.6%
Muslim: 33.5%
African-American 27.2%
Asian-Americans: 18.5%
Hispanics: 18.5%
Jews: 11.8%
Conservative Christians: 6.9%
Whites: 2.3%

Negative attitudes like these stem from a number of common misperceptions about atheists. It is believed, for example, that atheists (because they don’t believe in gods) have no reason to behave morally/ethically, that they want to impose atheism or secularism on America, and that in place of gods atheists worship themselves/money/Satan. While none of these perceptions are even remotely true, they’re widespread and very difficult to change in the eyes of those who hold them.

Thanks to the misperceptions about atheism and atheists, there is a great deal of discrimination toward atheists.

Gray, Tennessee: Carletta Sims joined a financial firm in June 2001. Shortly afterward, two Baptist coworkers took offense upon learning that Sims was an atheist. Management granted the coworkers’ request to be assigned workspaces further from Sims. When Sims complained about a picture of Jesus left on her computer, management discharged her. Sims filed suit, seeking $250,000; U.S. District Judge Thomas Hull ruled that “religious discrimination (or preferential treatment of Christians) can be inferred.” In January 2004, the major bank that had since acquired the firm settled with Sims for an undisclosed amount.

Ada, Oklahoma: A Baptist student told a local newspaper she wouldn’t take professor William Zellner’s classes because he was an atheist, triggering a flurry of abuse. Zellner received harassing notes and telephone calls, some threatening. His car was vandalized, for a time on a daily basis. A local church sold “I am praying for Dr. Zellner” buttons. His children experienced shunning and beatings from religious children.

Minneapolis, Minnesota: First-grader Michael Bristor, an atheist, was denied an honor roll certificate when he refused to participate in an unconstitutional “prayer time” at a public school. For three years, administrators ignored the family’s complaints until a lawsuit was filed.

The case of Chuck Smalkowski of Oklahoma gained national attention. Smalkowski’s daughter refused to pray with her basketball team before games and was then thrown off the team on grounds based on lies. When Smalkowski attempted to discuss the matter with the school principal the principal struck Smalkowski and the two fell to the ground. The principal pressed charges claiming Smalkowski had assaulted him. Smalkowski won in court.

Discrimination against atheists is written into numerous state constitutions effectively restricting atheists from running for public office. Though these restrictions are no longer technically valid, they’re still in the constitutions. More importantly, the societal bias against atheists is so entrenched that it ensures none will be elected to most offices–particularly the presidency. For example, notice in particular how presidential candidates must profess their faith (Christianity, of course) endlessly in order to be considered acceptable. Mitt Romney raised many eyebrows because he is a Mormon, and Barack Obama is continuously under fire with accusations that he is a Muslim. Then there is this article that insists America is right to resist an atheist president. No, an atheist has no chance of becoming president any time soon in America.

It is not uncommon for atheists to lose custody of their children simply because the are atheists, particularly if the other parent is religious and the judge is also religious. It is often felt that an atheist is unfit to raise children and/or that children should be raised in a religion. Atheists also have a harder time adopting children than do their believing counterparts.

Then there are these bigoted quotes from various individuals that show how deeply entrenched anti-atheist sentiments are in America. This is a small sampling, mind you.

“No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.” George H.W. Bush

“No, I agree with her 100 percent. I think that the real discrimination is atheists against Americans who are religious. Listen, we are a Christian nation. I’m not a Christian. I’m Jewish, but I recognize we’re a Christian country and freedom of religion doesn’t mean freedom from religion.” Debbie Schlussel

“I don’t mind receiving the atheist hate mail, since I know that in a few years, many of these same people will either be Muslim extremists (redundant) or helping the country fall further in its fight against the creep of Islamic imposition on America . . . or both.
(later on the blog)
THANKS FOR CONFIRMING THAT ALL ATHEISTS ARE IDIOTS IN ADDITION TO BEING FUTURE MUSLIM EXTREMISTS” Debbie Schlussel

“I’d like to eliminate all Atheists. That isn’t such a bad idea.” Captain Windu

(In an argument that went from ‘Atheists are evil’ to ‘we should be able to mix church and state’ back to ‘Atheists are evil’)
“Panzer, if it would have been my business I would have fired you for being an atheist. I just would have found a way to fire you without using your lack of belief as a reason. Bad company corrupts good morals and I wouldnt have a non believer work for me. Plus, why should I have an atheist work for me when there is a christian that needs a job?” Don

“atheists and unfaithfuls are the responsible for all the world disgraces” ximmamrayadj

“To all atheists, you are no better than the worst terrorists ever lived. You are trying to kill human nature physically and morally. But this will not work.” gandovli

“To an atheist, anything that shows respect and etiquette to another person is mindless and meaningless, which is why they refuse to say such simple phrases as “Bless you” and “Thank you” and “Please.” Although atheists (claim to) have high IQs, their EQs are surely in the single digits” MessiahWWWKD

“have any atheists ever done a THING for the betterment of mankind? NAME ONE. They certainly can’t just BE…no they have to FORCE their views on us all by tearing down every decent institution in the country because they are “offended”. They do it so cowardly too by using the bought and paid for court system so that we the people have no say in the matter.” bdn2004

“15.) The theory of evolution is supported almost completely by atheists…and atheists don’t have just a great track record for telling the truth. Lying comes natural for them, as they don’t believe in The 10 Commandments and see nothing wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, murdering, etc….because, hey, we’re all just dumb machines that operate by random chemicals bouncing into each other. To them, (or many of them) telling lies and killing Christians is a good thing because they hate Christians and wish we were dead.” Supersport

“Anyway I would like to make a comment I love god, he speaks to me when I walk down the street he tells me to do good. When ever I see an Atheist I feel like slapping them, however then god gives me this vision of atheists burring, and I think to myself. God will deal with them. ” Kasaova

“Atheists don’t have a church they can join for fellowship, friends, sports, bible readings, bingo, coffee and donuts, education, etc. There are not Atheists organizations that help out the poor, homeless, sick, disabled, hungry, and others less fortunate. When you look at an Atheist organization, most likely than not they are filing civil suits against Religions and trying to get Religious things removed from the public. Not seeing that Religious organizations help out the community. For example the Cub Scouts have a Scouting for Food program, but the ACLU and Atheist Organizations filed civil suits to get the Cub Scouts out of public schools because the Cub Scouts mentions duty to God in their pledge. But because of that the Cub Scouts cannot recruit as many boys to help out in the Scouting for Food program and as a result Fire Stations and Food Pantries only get 50% to 35% of the canned food they used to stock up on thanks to the Cub Scouts for collecting it for them. Now homeless and hungry and poor people go without food, thanks to the ACLU and Atheist Organizations kicking the Cub Scouts out of public places.” OrionBlaster

The last statement in particular is completely inaccurate. The Boy Scouts are not losing access to public places because they mention duty to God in their pledge. They’re losing free access to public places, and complete access to some public places, because they refuse to allow gays, atheists and agnostics to be scouts or scoutmasters. If they want to consider themselves a private group, which gives them the right to practice discrimination based on “religious beliefs”, they can’t benefit from things like free access to public lands and other things that are provided to public groups that are open to all. Essentially they want to have their cake and eat it too. It should be noted that the Girl Scouts don’t discriminate like the Boy Scouts do, and therefore don’t have any such problems.

Moving on now to the second part: All the hipster protesters are atheists and everyone hears them practicing their right to free speech.

It does seem that more atheists are speaking out, particularly of late. Thanks to the Internet even those who have otherwise been “in the closet” due to fear of repercussions have found a voice and the opportunity to use it. Nonetheless atheists are hardly the only ones protesting, and certainly not the only “hipster” protesters (though I’m sure many would be thrilled to be classified as such). We’re just getting more backlash because we (along with those evil gays) are screwing up the status quo when we assert ourselves.

Finally, Here is the shocking part though… nobody cares

On the contrary, many people care. You cared enough to submit your question, whatever the intent behind it may have been. The 600 (and counting) bloggers on the Atheist Blogroll certainly care. Some others who care include:

Rep. Monique Davis, who stated “It’s dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists!”.

InGodWeTrust.org certainly cares. They couldn’t allow an atheist group to simply run their first-ever billboard campaign without interfering. They had to respond with the outrageous and false claim that “Atheists hate America”.

Karen Hunter cares enough that she thinks atheists need to shut up about their rights/wants, etc. and Debbie Schlussel agrees–because this is a “Christian Nation”.

Yes, many people do care and many of them would like us to shut up and go back in our closets with the LGBT people. That’s just not going to happen. We’re here, we don’t believe, and people are just going to have to get used to it.

That concludes this edition of The Gaytheist Answers.

 

It’s up now at The Rational Response Squad. There are great entries from Atheist Ethicist, Executed Today, The Atheist Blogger, Greta Christina’s Blog, Providentia, and much more so pop in and check out the godless goodness.

 

 

I thought I’d do something a little different now and have a bit of an open forum. Got something on your mind about Atheists, Atheism, LGBT issues or similar topics? Go ahead and ask and I’ll do my best to answer. Please keep questions respectful as I reserve the right to ignore questions that aren’t. To submit a question click on “Comment on this entry” below this post and follow the instructions!

 

 

State Representative Monique Davis (D-Chicago), who previously engaged in a verbal attack against Atheist Rob Sherman, offered an apology on Wednesday.

Because of Davis’ rant, she was named Tuesday night as the “worst person in the world” –a dubious award doled out daily by news commentator Keith Olbermann on MSNBC’s “Countdown” program.

Rep. Davis told atheist Rob Sherman that, “What you have to spew and spread is dangerous” and that “This is the land of Lincoln where people believe in God.”

But, after being on the receiving end of a week’s worth of public criticism, Davis called Sherman yesterday to apologize.

Sherman says Davis told him she “took out her frustrations and emotions on me and that she shouldn’t have done that.” Sherman says Davis’ explanation was “reasonable” and that he forgives her.

According to Sherman and State Rep. Jack Franks….Davis claims her outburst was triggered by learning shortly beforehand…that there’d been another Chicago Public School student killed.

State Rep. Jack Franks was chairing the hearing that day and says Davis’ outburst was uncharacteristic, adding “she was having a bad day.”

That was very noble of Representative Davis. I’ll be dropping her a message to let her know how much I appreciate her action.

 

On April 15th the National Center for Science Education will be posting their full response to Ben Stein’s Expelled. In the meantime they’ve provided a handy list of resources for us including reviews and news coverage of Expelled, and other useful information. For future reference I’ve included a permanent link to this on the sidebar under “Helpful Links”.

 

I found this excellent poem at The Digital Cuttlefish. There are two versions, the second being in response to the recent exchange between Rep. Monique Davis and Rob Sherman. If you enjoy them as much as I did please stop by the site and leave a comment to let the author know. Here’s the original:

 
I thought I saw an atheist, once, walking down the street.
I checked for horns, I checked for tail, I checked for cloven feet;
Began to tremble frightfully—my heart was in my throat—
Then sighed in happy recognition, for ‘twas but a goat.

I thought I saw an atheist, down near a swollen stream
With scaly skin, and blood so cold, I couldn’t breathe to scream!
I looked into his bulging eyes, and prayed “God, grant my wish”
Then laughed in my embarrassment—it only was a fish.

I thought I saw an atheist, with fur and pointed claws,
And wicked teeth for chewing up Judeo-Christian laws,
I ran, and tripped, and fell to earth, then hid behind a log—
It caught me, though, and licked my face—of course, it was a dog.

I thought I saw an atheist, though cleverly disguised
Not giant and reptilian, but human, normal sized,
It looked to be engaging in productive, useful labor;
But no, this was no atheist—this person was my neighbor!

I thought I saw an atheist; in fact, I saw a few!
My neighbor, and the grocer, and the cop, and maybe you!
I even found some in the church, right there beneath the steeple;
It turns out, to my great surprise… that atheists are people.

 

Now here is the second version, “I Thought I Saw an Atheist” Revisited :

 

…I thought I saw an atheist, upon the witness stand
It couldn’t be! Not where I live! This is a Christian Land!
The Constitution guarantees my right to scream and shout;
As the Good Lord is my witness, I demanded “You! Get out!”

I thought I saw an atheist demand an equal voice;
I told him he could leave right now, and that could be his choice.
I said his view was dangerous–our children must not hear!
It goes against the Bible, which our government holds dear!

I thought I saw an atheist nod quietly, and sigh.
The odds were stacked against him, which no person can deny;
What happens when a person is denied his civil right?
I may have seen an atheist who’s now convinced to fight.