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Archive for the ‘Marriage Equality’ Category

Married Bliss, One Step Closer.

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

wedding bandsSapphocrat and I got our marriage license yesterday afternoon. It was a breeze really. We purposely waited almost a week and went a county away in hopes of avoiding long lines and it worked. We were able to put in our application online, and after a five-minute wait in line we signed the form, gave our affirmations and got our license. Actually, we got two licenses. The first is the official one that goes back to the state after our wedding, which is going to be next month, and the second is a keepsake license that we keep after the ceremony. Sweet.

 

Civil Rights Groups Seek to Block CA Same-Sex Marriage Initiative.

Friday, June 20th, 2008

This is some of the best news I’ve had recently. This means that the November ballot initiative brought on by the RRRW here in CA may be stopped. Sapphocrat has the story. Head over and read it.

 

Same-Sex Wedding Bells Are Ringing in California.

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

Del Martin and Phyllis LyonIt has been a whirlwind of weddings since Monday evening at 5:01pm, which was when same-sex weddings could officially begin here in California. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon were the first to be married in San Francisco, with Mayor Gavin Newsom performing the ceremony. The couple, age 87 and 84 respectively, were the first to marry 4 years ago when Mayor Newsom began issuing licenses to same-sex couples in defiance of state law. Their marriage, along with many others, was declared invalid shortly after. They were overjoyed to now be legally married thanks to the recent Supreme Court decision. Below is video footage of the lovely brides and other happy couples who tied the knot on Monday night. Also included are scenes of the Phelps family protest (which I didn’t make it to as I was not feeling well) and some other protesters.

Here is a county-by-county rundown of the marriage licenses issued and marriages performed as per the Contra Costa Times. com:

* Contra Costa: Issued 55 marriage licenses Tuesday, 36 for same-sex couples, and performed 22 wedding ceremonies, 21 for same-sex couples. Three protesters picketed for an hour, but no incidents were reported to police.
* San Francisco: As of noon Tuesday, San Francisco received 172 same-sex marriage license appointments and 114 reserved ceremonies and most were for same-sex couples, according to the mayor’s office.
* Alameda: The county married 65 same-sex couples Monday night. On Tuesday, it issued 63 marriage licenses and performed 26 weddings, mostly same-sex.
* Solano: On Tuesday, the county issued 22 licenses, 19 for same-sex couples; officiated eight ceremonies, seven of them for same-sex couples.
* San Mateo: The county married four same-sex couples Tuesday and issued 45 licenses, 34 to same-sex couples. Outside, the Rev. Terri Echelbarger of the Peninsula Metropolitan Community Church based in San Mateo, married five same-gender couples.
* Santa Clara: Santa Clara issued 111 marriage licenses and conducted 32 weddings, mostly same-sex.
* Sonoma: On Monday, officials married 20 same-sex couples and issued 37 licenses. On Tuesday, it issued 42 licenses for same-sex couples and conducted 28 ceremonies.
* Napa: Issued 22 licenses; 13 for same-sex couples and performed six ceremonies, five for same-sex couples.
* Marin: Issued 35 licenses and performed 15 ceremonies Tuesday.

Sapphocrat and I have applied for our marriage license. I’ve been scouting online for wardrobe ideas, we’ll be shopping for wedding bands sometime this week or next, and we already are fairly sure where we’re going to have the ceremony. Very soon we’re going to join the hundreds (if not thousands) of blissfully married same-sex couples here in California.

Let equality ring!

 

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Addendum, a comment has arrived. Linda said:

Phyllis and Del - aren’t they just the sweetest things? To think of being together for all those years and only now being able to properly celebrate their commitment. It must have taken so much devotion and courage to stand up against society for so long. I’m a straight, female, anglo - this means that I can go through my day and no one suspects me of being an evil, liberal-minded, atheist. I joined the Marines in the early 70s and I’m sure that at least half of the women were gay - later I joined the guard and finished with a total of 21 years. What this brings me to is how sad it made me that I could openly discuss my husband and how happy he made me while my gay friends had to keep silent.

I hope your wedding will be everything you’ve always wanted it to be.

I’m glad that Martin and Lyon saw marriage equality in their lifetimes. It’s only fitting considering how much they contributed to the lesbian rights movement.

I applaud your sensitivity to your privilege regarding your ability to speak freely about your relationship with your husband. So many straight people claim LGBT people are “flaunting” their orientations/identities if they even mention that they are LGBT, and especially if they talk of their partners. They don’t realize the extent to which they “flaunt” their heterosexuality, such as talking about dates, referring to spouses, gushing about upcoming weddings, keeping pictures of their families on their desks at work, etc. What’s good for the goose is, apparently, not good for the gander with certain people.

 

I Feel so Honored. The Phelps Clan is Coming to Visit.

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

PhelpsOn June 16th and 17th the Phelps family will be visiting Northern California for a series of “protests”. They’re not too keen on the fact that we have that marriage equality thing. Here’s their schedule:

6/16, 1:00-1:45pm…Monterey, CA. Presidio of Monterey Pacific St. & Lighthouse Ave.

6/16, 4:30-6:00pm…San Francisco, CA. San Francisco City Hall 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Pl.

6/17, 7:00-8:00am…Martinez, CA. Contra Costa County Clerk Recorder 555 Escobar.

My fiancee and I will be attending the SF protest and sporting our new T-Shirts. We’ll bring a bunch of the matching buttons. Mention this blog post and if we haven’t run out we’ll give you one!

 

Regarding the California Same-Sex Marriage Decision.

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

With many thanks to Ebon, frequent commenter to the Gaytheist Agenda, who provided this wonderful cheat sheet.

When the Cali ruling was handed down, I created a quick cheat-sheet for dealing with those who would argue against it. Since I noticed at least one person using one of the arguments I dealt with, I thought you might like a copy of it:

“The judges overturned the will of the people” ~ It is not the job of the judicial branch to uphold the wishes of the majority. There is a very good reason why very few states and virtually no civilised nations elect judges and that is because it would open them to the same pressures as politicians face. Judges are deliberately
insulated from the political process to ensure that they don’t have to follow “the will of the people”. The judges were asked to rule on whether the state’s ban on same-sex marriage conflicted with the state constitution’s ban on discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation. They decided it did. making that decision was their only responsibility. Not enforcing the will of the people, not following the prevailing political winds, simply stating the law as they understood it. If the judiciary’s only function was to rubber-stamp “the will of the people”, there would be little point having them. The judicial branch is independent to guard against the tyranny of the majority, not to enable it.

“Activist judges / legislating from the bench” ~ The phrase “activist judges” has only ever meant “a decision I disagree with”. Of the seven judges who made this decision, six were appointed by Republicans and California currently has a Republican governor, not the kind of people normally slandered with cries of judicial activism. As anyone who has ever studied law knows, it is utterly impossible for a judge to avoid legislating from the bench. In any case at all (except Bush V. Gore), the decision establishes a legal precedent. By the principle of stare decisis (roughly “the court stands on it’s previous decisions”), that precedent then has the force of law to all lower courts unless and until it is overturned, thus establishing law and thus, legislating from the bench. That is how the legal process is supposed to work. It is, in a very real sense, the essence of what judges do. Further, the cry of activism can only ever have any weight (beyond the previously mentioned “decision I dislike”) if a decision is made without firm legal reasoning. In this case, the legal reasoning was entirely sound. The wording of both the State Constitution and the marriage act were exceedingly clear and the court also drew on the decision made in Loving which established the right to marriage as a fundamental right. That is a well-reasoned, well-thought out judicial opinion.

I’ve noticed that it’s only the RWers who bemoan Activist Judges/Legislating from the Bench. I’ve never heard that come from anybody on the Left. You know the one time I didn’t hear it? Bush vs. Gore. Nobody on the Right was whining about Activist Judges then.

“Now people will be able to marry children/dogs/box turtles” ~ First off, there is no evidence whatsoever that gay people abuse children any more frequently than hetero people and a certain amount of evidence suggesting exactly the opposite. Secondly and more importantly, marriage is (shorn of the religious connotations) a state-sanctioned contract. Children cannot consent to a contract, nor to sexual intercourse so when one is asked “where do we draw the line?”, the appropriate answer would probably be “at people who are able to give consent”. While we’re on the subject, animals are also judged unable to give consent so leave that one at home too.

Rational people like you and I know that, as do people who have basic knowledge of logic. But the RW likes to prey upon those who don’t and use the time-honored slippery slope fallacy. Of course it’s very effective on its target audience.

“They’re free to marry someone of the opposite sex, like anyone else so same-sex marriage is a special right” ~ There is a reason the phrase “one size fits all” appears in no known constitution or bill of laws anywhere. If you wish to apply that argument, one can as easily shut down every church except the Satanists, not our fault if you choose to be something different or we could enforce vegetarianism, not our fault if you like a steak. Quite apart from the absurdity of the argument, it becomes rather more sinister when you flip it around: If the government can say I only have the right to marry a woman, why can it not say I only have the right to marry some women? Or this woman? Or this aardvark? A reasonable argument can be made for limiting marriage to two people out of sheer practicality and the need to maintain a tax base but beyond that, allowing the state to decide which people can marry sets a dangerous precedent.

They’re always going on about these “special rights” that we want. Funny how we ask for exactly what they have, yet we’re asking for “special rights”. If they aren’t special for them, how are they suddenly special when we want them? It’s like when they have protection from hate crimes based on their religion, but when we ask for protection based on our sexual orientation or gender identity suddenly they start claiming that’s a “special right” or that it will discriminate against them. What the…?

“Marriage has always been between a man and a woman” ~ So was child labour, so was miscegenation, so was slavery. Everything is “always” until we decide it’s something else. The satirist Terry Pratchett once described tradition as “the name we give to something daft we’ve been doing a long time”. His point was not that tradition is inherently a bad thing but that holding a tradition simply because it had always been a tradition was absurd. Until quite (shamefully) recently, it had “always” been legal to force sex upon one’s wife. And then the world grew up and realised that was foul and changed it. Humanity is not static, what was done does not have to continue to be done. If humanity had stuck with what it had “always” done, we would be eating our meat raw and living in a tree. Respect the last by all means but don’t be a slave to it and, when necessary, be willing to learn from it’s mistakes.

Very good point. But they’re wrong about marriage having always been “between a man and a woman”, and they’re hoping everybody is as ignorant as they are. Historically marriage has included polygamy, polyandry and even–yes–same sex marriage. So it definitely has not always been “between a man and a woman”.

“God says it’s immoral” ~ Got God’s fax number? Willing to share it? Then it’s just your opinion. You may have an elderly book that says your god feels this way but I have a book which says otherwise and since neither of us can prove our case or disprove the others, let’s just leave everyone’s gods out of the equation. Or, to quote Sir Francis Walsingham: “Is your god such a worldly god that he must play at politics?”.

God says a lot of things are immoral, sinful, abominations, etc. Of course any time they’re brought up they have excuses as to why those things are no longer applicable, only apply to Jews, are taken out of context, were eradicated by Jesus (though if you try to use that they say he fulfilled the law rather than eradicating it) or whatever. The excuses are endless. But of course the verses that they use against gay people are etched in stone because “God’s word is forever”. I swear their brains are like pretzels because the logic they use is so incredibly convoluted it couldn’t be any other way.

“It’s unnatural” ~ So is wearing clothes, driving cars, modern medicine, corporations and American Idol. The life of man in a state of nature is nasty, brutish and short. The entirety of human existence has been a flight away from nature, a drive to modify nature to our own ends. That is what has made us the dominant species on the planet and, because we never know when to stop, is killing the planet. Homosexuality has been observed in at least a hundred species (last time I checked, it may be even more now). If animals in the state of nature do it, it is natural by definition.

Homosexual behavior has been observed in about 1,500 animal species to date. It’s definitely a natural occurrence.

“It will encourage homosexuality” ~ You can’t encourage an inborn trait. All the
evidence, while not entirely conclusive yet, indicates that homosexuality is almost certainly innate. More to the point, what do you think is going to happen? Are otherwise hetero kids going to notice two guys getting married and think “I’m cured, I want the boys!”. If gay people have been being gay and living as gay and coming out as gay despite the ban on same-sex marriage and despite the phenomenal pressures to be straight and conform and despite the (decreasing but still very prevalent)threat of physical violence, we can safely assume that suppressing gay people hasn’t worked.

Just like their hateful “ex-gay” reparative therapy doesn’t work. It doesn’t stop them from hawking it though.

“It will destroy the sanctity of marriage” ~ OK, first off, let’s talk about that sanctity. Last time I checked, the divorce rate was around fifty percent and around eighty percent of married people (men and women) will cheat at some point in their married life so marriage doesn’t currently seem to be very sanctified anyway. Secondly, do you honestly believe that gay people getting married will have any effect on hetero marriages (beyond the minuscule effect on tax revenues)? Straight people are not going to stop getting married purely because marriage is no longer exclusive to them, the human mind doesn’t work that way.

If Britney Spears’ 55 hour marriage didn’t destroy the “sanctity of marriage” then nothing will.

Ebon, I can’t thank you enough for this wonderful resource. I’m sure it will come in handy time and time again.

 

Tell Gov. Schwarzenegger That You Support the California Supreme Court!

Monday, May 26th, 2008

Governor Schwarzenegger is conducting a phone poll to gather opinions about the recent Supreme Court decision about same-sex marriage. You can help by calling to let him know that you support it, and it’s very simple. I did it myself and it took less than a minute.

To respond in support of the California Supreme Court’s recent decision on gay marriage:

1. Call 1-916-445-2841

2. Press 1, 5, 1, 1

Now you know how to do it, please pick up the phone and make that call!

 

All Things Considered, It’s Been a Very Good Week.

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

Yesterday’s amazing news was that we finally have marriage equality here in California, though it doesn’t become effective until next month. My fiancee and I will be among the first in line to get married on or shortly after June 15th. We already have our engagement rings (below, from Love and Pride ) and are going to be shopping for our wedding bands soon.

Ring

Today I got a great new job that I’d been hoping for. Now I’ve got two very good reasons for a celebratory dinner this weekend.

Finally, this afternoon I got the first issue of my new Scientific American subscription. New reading material is always something to be happy about. Now off to enjoy it.

 

Same Sex Marriage Legal in California!

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

BridesIt has been by no means been an easy battle. There have been pleas, petitions and seemingly endless hours of waiting (not to mention hassling with the bigots). But we won–the Supreme Court of California just declared same-sex marriage legal!

The California Supreme Court overturned a ban on gay marriage Thursday, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

The court in a 4-3 ruling issued the long-awaited decision on its Web site, saying that domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage.

The opinion, written by Chief Justice Ron George, invalidated state laws requiring marriage to be between a man and a woman.

The cases were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco’s monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom’s direction.

Gay-rights organizations like Equality California called it a historical decision by the court.

The court ruled the state’s one man-one woman marriage laws violate the civil rights of same-sex couples.

With Thursday’s ruling in favor of the plaintiffs, California would become the second state after Massachusetts where gays and lesbians can legally wed.

So now my lovely fiancee and I will be getting married instead of “domestic partnered”. It’s amazing how much nicer that sounds (never mind all of the extra rights and privileges that come with it). Hooray for marriage equality!

 

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Addendum. Several comments have arrived. The first is from Kim:

Hooray for marriage equality Indeed! This is such wonderful news. I am a new fan of your site and did not know that you were engaged. Congratulations on your pending marriage!

Thank you very much. I’ve been engaged for a few months and we’ve been waiting for the decision so we could see if we’d be getting a DP or a real marriage. Now that we know we’re going to tie the knot!

Next up is Ebon:

You and I both know how the right is going to react to this but now is not the time for such things, that battle can wait.
For now, congratulations and may you and your bride live long and in good health.

Thank you! They’re already vacillating between wringing their hands over how oppressed they are by the evil liberals and conniving to overturn it with their November ballot measure. Nonetheless even if they do get it on the ballot and the voters overturn it, anybody who gets married before then (and I’ll be in that group) is still legally married under the law. They can’t change that!

Next up is cognitive dissident:

Congratulations on the victory, and on your impending marriage!

Thank you! Of course now I realize we have to select our wedding bands. We’ve been anxiously awaiting the decision and never got around to doing that. Off to Love and Pride!

 

Bad News for California Marriage Equality.

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

The purveyors of lies, intolerance and inequality have done it. From Equality California:

They claim they did the unconscionable.

Extremist anti-LGBT organizations spent an unprecedented amount of money to pay people to collect signatures and are now saying that they succeeded in buying their way onto the November ballot.

The measure seeks to amend the California Constitution from being a document that protects all people to one that excludes us from equality.

…..

EQCA is a leading partner in the Equality for All Campaign that is made up of leadership from LGBT and allied organizations fighting this dangerous initiative.

We estimate that the opposition spent well over $1.5 million to gather signatures. This means they’re serious about spending millions more to pass the amendment. We need to prepare for what will likely be the most expensive LGBT rights ballot measure in our nation’s history. Here’s what you can do:

* Make a donation to Equality California Issues PAC. We have to match them dollar for dollar. EQCA Issues PAC is committed to fighting this and every attack on our families and our community and every dollar raised will be spent to defeat this measure.
* Tell your friends and family. Tell them why you are giving and ask them to make a donation as well.

In the coming months our community is going to be tested in ways it has not been tested before. So much hangs in the balance.

Granted, Governor Schwarzenegger stated that he is against a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. But we need to fight this hateful initiative tooth and nail nonetheless.

 

The Status of Marriage Equality in California.

Monday, April 21st, 2008

While it’s still too early to tell, rumor has it things may be going our way according to this article on HuffPo.

The fight for gay marriage in California has been a tough one during the last decade. In 2000, Proposition 22 was passed by 62% of the state’s voters, limiting marriage to a man and a women. Its since been sent to the State’s Supreme Court. Gov. Schwarzenegger has twice vetoed Gay Marriage Bills sent to him by the California Legislature, the second as recently as last year. “He will uphold whatever the court decides,” Schwarzenegger spokeswoman Margita Thompson said after the bill’s original passing.

Fearing the court’s decision, the Family Research council has launched a ballot initiative for a Constitutional Amendment against Gay Marriage in California. “After oral arguments in the case, it appears very likely that the majority of judges on California’s highest court will rule against the current meaning of marriage, opening up God’s ordained institution to same-sex couples,” they said in a March fundraising email.

Sources wishing to remain anonymous in the California Court System indicate that the court, which has until June 2, 2008 to issue it’s marriage ruling, is considering issuing it on Friday, May 23, 2008, with the decision being written by Chief Justice Ronald George. The Court is readying itself for a backlash that may follow the rumored and bold decision. There is talk that the Court will not simply strike down Proposition 22, but will move the State of California toward full marriage, if not even granting full marriage rights for gays and lesbians outright.

Obviously aware of what’s coming, Gov. Schwarzenegger came out swinging against the FRC’s proposed amendment, “I will always be there to fight against that,” he said to huge applause this weekend at a Log Cabin Republican Convention in San Diego. He went so far as to call the initiative a “waste of time” and acknowledge that the people of California are, “much further along on that issue.” The latest Field Poll shows only 51% of Californians oppose full gay marriage, an 11 point drop since 2000.

There seems little doubt that California is moving toward full gay marriage equality.
…..

If Mr. Davis is right, this is certainly good news. Right now I’m engaged to my partner and we’ve got things on hold while we wait to see if we’ll be able to get a mere Domestic Partnership, or a full Marriage. We’re hoping it will be the latter. Equality is a wonderful thing.