Yes, I’ve been away a while. As I noted previously, it’s a long story and forgive me if I meander.
We lost marriage equality in Maine, just as we lost it last year in California. Once again lies, bigotry and fearmongering trumped love and equality. It doesn’t matter that the bigots (the very same bigots who ran the campaign in CA) simply recycled the lies they used in CA. It didn’t matter that we pointed out that they were lies, and recycled lies at that. People chose to eradicate the rights of same-sex families once again.
They spread lies, fear, hatred and propaganda. We’re forced to refute the lies and beg for our rights from people who have no business withholding them in the first place. Millions of dollars and countless agonizing months/years later all we end up with is another defeat.
The problem is that our rights are not something that should be put on a ballot. Human/Civil Rights are not a matter to be subjected to “the will of the people”, the whims of the public, the popular vote.* No other group has been subjected to this indignity, and it’s wrong that we are time and time again. It has to stop. Until we as a nation recognize that we will get nowhere.
Ultimately it comes down to this: This never-ending cycle has been devastating to me. It has drained me physically, emotionally and spiritually. It was also turning me into something I didn’t particularly like.
Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.
Friedrich Nietzsche
In my fight against the anti-gay monsters I was becoming perpetually angry and losing my capacity to see good in people. While I’m aware that there are decent Christians and clergy people out there I automatically cringed on sight of words like church, Christian, pastor, priest, religious. I was so used to them being used as a weapon against me and mine I expected nothing but bad from them. It got to the point that I bristled when I heard the word “children” because the bigots have used “the children” against us so virulently and successfully. It’s sad, really, because those children are innocent pawns in this sordid mess just as we are.
It shouldn’t be like this.
Once upon a time, when I was young and idealistic, I thought I could change the world. As I got older and wiser I realized I couldn’t and I became content doing what I could on a smaller scale. I worked for two decades in Human Services helping people with developmental disabilities and people with mental illnesses. I still give to charities and do what I can to make a positive impact on my community and the world.
Where I erred was letting myself once again think I could make major difference. I let myself get too involved in broad-scale situations over which I had little to no control, and it’s had deleterious effects on me. I need to once again recognize my limitations and focus on what I can achieve rather than getting caught up in idealistic notions.
In my absence from TGA I’ve been reading more, and enjoying my kittens. The spoiled little things now have a stroller (yes, they have strollers for pets) and we take walks around the neighborhood. I’ve also taken up loom-knitting. I now have a box full of hats and scarves I’ll be sending to one of the local shelters for homeless families. I’ve also created a lovely rainbow scarf for my wife, a multi-color set for my niece, and I’m working on a two-tone set for my nephew. I’m finding this much more fulfilling and productive than tilting at windmills.
So I’m going to try changing the focus on this blog. Previously I blogged almost exclusively about LGBT and atheist concerns. I’ll still include those of course, but I plan to leave the heavy “fighting” to others, in order to preserve my own sanity. I will include other topics more frequently than in the past, and see where things take me.
Thank you for bearing with me in my absence and I hope you like the changes!
*Anybody who disagrees is more than welcome, as I’ve stated more than once, to put their rights on the next ballot. I have yet to see anybody rise to the challenge.
